Growing a Pumpkin Patch is Hard Work.

Better than the Lizard King, I guess

"Mama! I am King of the Snails!"

"Of the snails?"

"I am King of the Snails!"

"What do you do as King of the Snails?"

"I say, 'You'd better listen to me, snails!'"

"Ah."

--------------------

"Mama! At school, me and Ro play pirates!"

"How do you play pirates?"

"We run around fall down and say, 'AAARRRRRRR!"

"Of course."

Santa was otherwise preoccupied.

Adam did not want to go to bed on Christmas Eve. By 9:30 PM, Chris was ready to pull out the big guns, so he told Adam that he was going to call Santa to reassure him that Adam was going to go to bed, so to please be sure to come by to deliver his gifts as soon as he fell asleep.

Chris picked up the phone, dialed some numbers, and talked to Santa.

"Yes, yes, Santa, Adam told me that he is going to go to sleep right now. You want to know what he wants for Christmas? Okay, I'll ask him. Adam, what do you want from Santa? A big rig? Okay, Santa, Adam wants you to bring him a big rig and he's going to go to sleep right now, so don't forget to stop by here tonight!"

Chris said goodbye to Santa and hung up the phone. At which point, Adam looked pointedly at Chris and declared, "Daddy, Santa was not on the phone."

"He wasn't? But I just talked to him!"

"No, that was not Santa. Santa is at the North Pole. Using the potty."